As the Proprietor and Supreme Commander of The Warbaby Empire, I have a legal duty to protect The Children (tm), the religiously righteous, and the witless from any unduly sleazy material that PsychoPussy puts on the walls of his museum. Therefore, access to these pages is restricted to adults over the age of 18, residing in areas where sexaually explicit images and literature are acceptable by the prevailing community standards and who are not members of any law enforcement authority or fundamental religious organization. Access will be granted only upon signing the following oath.

Affidavit of Adulthood

I swear to god that I'm over 18 and considered an adult by the standards of my community, no matter how backward, provincial or totalitarian.

I swear on a stack of bibles that I am not a believer in any fundamental religious orthodoxy.

I swear before the Goddess of Justice that I am not a member of any law enforcement agency.

I swear on my mother's grave that I have a sense of humor.

I further swear that, if I make any false statements herein, I will grant to Robert Arnold, creator, designer and author of this web site, full right and title to all of my possessions and assets, including, but not limited to, cash, bank accounts, stocks, securities, gold bullion, real estate, vehicles, boats, aircraft, antiques and works of art, rare books, computer hardware and software, game systems, stereo equipment, film and video equipment, guitars and amps, synthesizers and recording equipment, skateboards, snowboards, and any other cool stuff I've got.

(Think twice before you sign. I mean what I say and I'm just mean enough to press my claim with lawyers, guns and money.)

 

Cross my heart and hope to die
Stick a needle in my eye,
I swear my oath, I do not lie.

(...nor will I hesitate to stick a needle in your eye.)

I'M COOL, DAMN IT, LET ME IN.

ARE YOU SURE? CLICKING ON THIS BUTTON IS THE LEGAL EQUIVALENT OF YOUR SIGNATURE AND MAKES THIS DOCLUMENT A LEGALLY BINDING STATEMENT OF YOUR AGE AND ACCEPTANCE OF THE MATERIAL HEREIN. BY ENTERING THIS SITE YOU ARE AGREEING NOT TO BRING ANY LEGAL ACTION WHATSOEVER AGAINST THEWARBABY EMPIRE, ROBERT ARNOLD OR HIS FAITHFUL COMPANION,PSYCHOPUSSY, OR SIRIUS CONNECTIONS, THEIR HEIRS AND ASSIGNS. IF YOU DO NOT AGREE TO THE ABOVE TERMS AND FALSELY SIGN THIS DOCUMENT, IT WILL BE CONSIDERED ENTRAPMENT FOR ALL LEGAL ACTIONS.

EXAMINE YOUR CONSCIENCE CAREFULLY BEFORE YOU TAKE ANY RASH AND REGRETTABLE ACTIONS.

WARNING: This page utilizes a very sophisticated search engine combined with a semi-sentient autonomous robot that will trace your address and verify the data you have entered. If you're lying it will create a subtle and undetectible virus specific to your operating system - a virus which will wipe every last byte of data from your hard drive and replace it with the complete texts of all the Nancy Drew novels ever written.

 

I'M OUTA HERE!

 

A FINAL NOTE FOR THOSE UNDER 18

Look, kid, I know you could easily lie and sneak into the museum anyway. But if you do, and your parents find out and pitch a bitch about it, it not only jeapordizes the existance of my museum that I've worked my tail off to create and maintain, but gives those totalitarian twits whose lives are dedicated to the repression of fun, one more piece of ammunition in their stupid war against everything that's not based on Family Values. Please don't fuck it up.

Tell ya what I'm gonna do for ya, kiddo...

Just so you won't have to go away disappointed, I've put together a killer collection of my favorite links to the Web's best, most up-to-date games, cheats, wacks and hares pages. I'll be checking all the links once a week to make sure they're still cool, and I'll be adding new stuff as I find it. Trust me. Heh, heh, heh...

Yowza! Take me to da linx