Paris
Carlos Lewis Alvarez
""I"
have been a Professional at everything "I" have ever wanted to
be Professional at."
If
confidence is any guarantee of success, Bush and Gore may as well
throw in the towel and call it quits before they suffer a humiliating
defeat at the hands of Paris Alvarez, "Liason to Christ's
Father." Mr. Alvarez assures us that, "The world will
honor and love me in no time! Because I am real."
Behind
that sultry gaze burns an incomprehensible intellect that demands
the castration of international drug traffickers, while advocating
the government distribution of marijuana to "all retired
military personnel over the age of 35 if they so desire to smoke."
According to Mr. Alvarez, keeping those old soldiers stoned will
"quilt all the world harmoniously."
Hey,
if that's what it takes to quilt the world harmoniously, we're
all for it. Anything for a little harmonious quilting.
Paris
is a native Floridian who has his AA degree from Miami Dade Community
College and who explains that, "GOD taught "me" how to deal
with humanity out on the street: not in the classroom first. I
went back to school at age 35 to plainly see what has to be done,
and I know how to deal with any son of a gun."
There's
no denying that America needs a president who knows how to deal
with any son of a gun. You wouldn't catch a president like that
mollycoddling our enemies, nosiree. If he wants to chop off the
cojones of drug smugglers, we shudder to think what he'd do to
terrorists.
