PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION 2000 - OFFICIAL CANDIDATES

David Broida

What kind of person claims to be a serious candidate and yet heads his campaign web page with "Don't Vote For Me For President"? Perhaps a guy like David Broida who certainly knows how to get our attention with his assertion that, as President, he's not going to do anything much. Broida is from Baltimore, hometown of John Waters, and perhaps that explains a lot. His platform positions are solidly and predictably liberal with the exception of his stand on welfare which he would eliminate entirely. We get the impression that, if elected, he would spend most of his time snoozing and coming up with political one-liners. Example: "I would not have ended racism. But I might have tried to ban the Indy 500."

Broida includes among his presidential qualifications the following: "I have never served jail time, been married, am not a lawyer, and have not held political office. I promise nothing. I can back that up 100%. I will not promise to lower taxes, balance the budget, get rid of the national debt, a smaller military disbursement, end poverty, or end racism. I will promise that my term of office will be without crisis or peril of any sort, no scandals will arise." He also claims to look good in a tuxedo.

- JS

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