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PARTY OVERVIEW

 

The United Fascist Union, led by their candidate Jack Grimes, have their collective eye set on the presidency in 2000 in hopes of "Promoting Global Corporatism in a New Age of Peace, Plenty, and Prosperity." Anticipating the evolution of more telepaths and psychics into the species, the Union has already set up the Psychic Research and Protection Association to protect these people(who will presumably be the only ones who can visualize this New World Order) from the "normals."

Hoo boy.

Favorite quote from a Union speech: " (The) founding fathers of the Union States of America were a gang of Masonic internationalists who took us away from the British Crown to promote their own evil agenda."

Yessiree, Bubba, we gotta watch out for them evil Masonic internationalists!

 

OFFICIAL PLATFORM STATEMENT
FROM THE OFFICIAL WEB PAGE

 

1. The United Fascist Union exists to promote a Global Government based on Imperial Rome. We have observed a great decline in the standard of living of the masses in modern times, while an ever-shrinking number of capitalists continue to grow fat off the labor of the working class. This situation must be corrected, the solution being "The Corporate State." The Fascist Union therefore offers each and every American a chance to earn a decent living. In accordance with these objectives we call for the institution of a "Universal Price Index," which would regulate and control prices on a worldwide level. We also call for the creation of a "transferable work point card," which would replace paper money with an electronic debit system.

2. As the main objective of the United Fascist Union is to preserve law and order and stabilize and regiment society, our civilization will mimic those of ancient Babylon and Rome. Babylonians were not only master craftsmen and builders, but one of their kings, Hamurabi, created a legal system which forms a basis for many modern legal codes. The Roman Empire was the greatest military state the world has ever known, based on the Mediterranean tradition, they became masters of the world and brought not only law, order, and civilization, but also technical innovation with them. With law and order rapidly breaking down throughout America our country needs to look back to the ancients if we are to survive and guide humanity into a new age of peace, plenty, and prosperity.

3. In an attempt to restore the morals of the masses and create a new world order based on a conservative value system, the United Fascist Union will support a revival of Greco-Roman Paganism and do hereby recommend Paganism be adopted as the State Religion. In accordance with traditional values of the commonwealth republic of Imperial Rome we call upon the people to preserve their personal liberties by opposing the U.N., The Protocols of Zion, and Labor Unionism.

4. Since the main objective of the United Fascist Union is to preserve Western Culture and provide Law and Order, we will not tolerate drunks, dope junkies, parasites, non-producers, welfare suckers, and/or perverts - either in our ranks or in society.

 

THE DARKHORSE2000 FISHY-EYED ASSESSMENT

A New World Order based on a fallen historical empire dedicated to preserving Western culture through paganism - only in America. But is their version of the New World Order any more twisted than the others? Well, ummm...yes.

We don't have any telepaths or psychics on the DH2K staff, and as far as we know, no one around here has crystal balls, but the voices in our heads assure us that the United Fascists won't make a ripple in the coming election. Still and all, we wouldn't be averse to a revival of Greco-Roman Paganism.

- BD

 

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