1. Abortion
Keep your hands off my body! Yes, with term restrictions. It's a moral dilemma. Only under extreme circumstances. Abortion is murder.

2. Gun Control
Keep your hands off my guns! Restrictions for automatic weapons only. There should be a waiting period/Background check. Only registered and licenced hunters should have guns. All guns should be banned.

3. Drugs
Keep your hands off my drugs! Decriminalize natural drugs. Uh, yeah...sure, whatever... They should be strictly regulated. All drugs should be illegal

4. Military Spending
Give 'em anything they want We must maintain military superiority Not with my tax dollars Cut military spending drastically Make 'em raise money with bake sales

5. Environmental Protection
Save everything natural. Ban everything else. We need stronger environmental protection laws. Environment? Hey, I live in Manhattan... Balanced resource management benefits everyone. Man was meant to dominate nature.

6. Education Spending
We don't need no education. Education should be privatized. It's a matter for the individual states. Free education for all. Education spending should equal military spending.

7. Support for the Arts
The arts should be fully subsidised ? ? ? Artists are supposed to starve. It's traditional

8. Immigration
Give us your poor, your tired. . . Fair and reasonable quotas. I'm on the borderline with this issue. Strict quotas for non-european immigrants. Send 'em all back where they came from

9. Foreign Aid
We have a moral obligation to aid disadvantaged nations. Debt makes good allies. Depends on which foreigners we're aiding. What did they ever do for us? Conquest and colonialism are a better solution.

10. Privacy Rights
Mind your own damn business, buster. Privacy is vital to a free society. Not at the expense of national security. A national ID will protect us all. Vere are your papers?

11. Gay and Lesbian Rights
I support gay, lesbian AND transgendered rights. Equal rights for everyone. No comment Not in my neighborhood Dang preverts oughta be hung

12. Internet Regulation
Keep your hands off our Internet It's too universal to regulate. We must protect The Children™. It's a dangerous thing in the hands of the masses. Nothin' but pornographers and anarchists. Shut it down.

13. Corporate Regulation
Lassaiz-faire, baby, all the way Minimize government intervention End corporate handouts They should be strictly regulated. Destroy the corporate power structure.

14. Death Penalty
Absolutely not. Only in extreme cases. Deaf Penalty? Huh? It's an effective deterrent. Fry 'em.

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