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2000.09.18 • MONDAY

Don't miss...

Political Cartoons by
Rob Davis & Jack Curtin


Thirteen Candidates Qualify for Ballot!

Bill White, founder of the Libertarian Socialist Party, kindly sent us a list of the candidates who have qualified to be on the ballot in the presidential election, along with a breakdown of the qualifying states. Thirteen candidates will be on the ballot: One from each of the two major parties, five from major third parties, five from minor third parties, and one independent.


Judge Bans Government from Prosecuting Doctors Who Recommend Marijuana for Treatment

The federal government can't prosecute doctors who recommend marijuana as a medical treatment for patients, a federal judge ruled Thursday in California.

U.S. District Court Judge William Alsup, sitting on the bench in San Francisco, issued an injunction permanently banning the government from revoking a physician's license to prescribe medicine "merely because the doctor recommends medical marijuana to a patient based on a sincere medical judgment."


Nixon Wrecked Early Peace in Vietnam
The Guardian (UK)

On the eve of his election in 1968, Richard Nixon secretly conspired with the South Vietnamese government to wreck all-party Vietnam peace talks as part of a deliberate effort to prolong a conflict in which more than 20,000 Americans were still to die, along with tens of thousands of Vietnamese and Cambodians.

If this is true, Nixon was even more of an evil rat bastard than we had formerly supposed.


A Fishy-Eyed Look at the Presidential Elections
from the Intelligence Pros

In the first of a three part series, Stratfor.com, an independent global intelligence service, examines the American presidential election and foreign policy. In coming weeks, the Weekly Analysis will explore the historical forces at work in America and abroad to understand the likely foreign policy challenges and choices of the next president.

The Next President Part One: The Elections and Beyond

In the second part of their in-depth analysis, they give a brilliantly concise, unbiased overview of the most potentially divisive - and unspoken - issue of all: globalization. As the Democratic Party meets in Los Angeles, this issue is at the root of the next president's choices on foreign policy. And this is the one thing neither major candidate will dare discuss.

The Unspoken Issue: The Impact of Globalization

We've been receiving Stratfor's intelligence briefings for over a year, and we're very impressed with their uncanny abililty to suss out what's going on and where it's all leading. If you want a preview of the news before it happens, subscribe to Stratfor's Global Intelligence Updates.

A Bush Foreign Policy

In the third part of this series, Stratfor examines the differences that are subsumed beneath two similar candidacies, those of Texas Gov. George W. Bush and Vice President Al Gore. On the face of it, their outlook toward the world seems the same. But if he wins in November, Bush will pursue a foreign policy that tries to reconcile two competing wings of the party, one that seeks ever more free trade and another that seeks to preserve American power in the world.

A Gore Foreign Policy

The fourth part of series examines the Democratic foreign policy that would propel Al Gore should he be elected the next president of the United States. Gore may continue Bill Clinton's foreign policy. Yet he will be facing a more hostile world than the current administration, and tensions over trade and power will arise.


The Bureau of Public Debt

Sounds kind of Orwellian or p'raps like something you'd find in a Monty Python skit, doesn't it?

Pay them a visit and you can see what America's public debt was in any year from 1791 -1999. F'rinstance, in 1915, the year of the photo of yr ed-in-chief's grandfather, the national debt was only $3,058,136,873.16, a figure that could easily be paid off today by any one of several high-tech moguls.


Reprints Worth Reprinting

Every now and then, something arrives in our email that's just too good not to share with our readers.

Here are leads to some of the latest additions:

Whogas - Is It Interesting?

Bernie Palicki is one of our favorite Independent presidential candidates - one of the brave idealists who pursue their campaigns knowing full well the futility of their quest.

From time to time, Bernie sends us his opinion pieces. In this one, he riffs on our whogas philosophy of the news and gives us a poignant commentary on the plight of the Third Party and Independent candidates are all but ignored by the mainstream media.

A Reply to the Declaration of Independence

What if George III's Parliament had management consultants? Something like this might have been sent in response to the American's Declaration of Independence.

BTW - This was sent to us without an author's credit. If you know who wrote it, please let us know.

The Constitution: Liberties of the People and Powers of Government

Jacob Hornberger, founder and president of the Future of Freedom Foundation gives some background on the circumstances under which the U.S. Constitution was written and what it means today.

Ten Thousand Czars

James Bovard takes a fishy-eyed look at the growing power of government employees and the changing relationship between citizens and the government.

This came to us via The Future of Freedom Foundation newsletter.


Follow the Money
Common Cause

Ever wonder what kind of bozos are giving away their money to support the Demicans and Republicrats? Common Cause has put together a comprehensive breakdown of soft money donations to the two major parties' election machinery.


New Candidates Join the Fray!

While the mainstream media continues its struggle to find newsworthy news about the two most boring presidential candidates in living memory, more folks are taking a fishy-eyed look and saying, "Jeez, if those two boneheads are the best we can come up with, I may as well throw my hat in the ring, too."

Warren Gamaliel Goretex

The National Lampoon recently polled its faithful admirers in a praiseworthy attempt to come up with the ideal presidential candidate. They have finally tabulated the results of that poll and have announced their carefully crafted composite candidate: Warren Gamaliel Goretex. We, being on top of it and ever desirous of getting to the bottom of it, asked Mr. Goretex to fill out our Candidate Questionnaire. He graciously complied with surprising alacrity and you can read his insightful responses by clicking on his name above.

**UPDATE**

Here's the latest on Warren Goretex' hip-hop tour across America. Direct from the National Lampoon comes this exciting multimedia presentation.

L.K. McLendon

The mysterious L.K McLendon first caught our attention when she sent us her proposal to relocate the capitol to Kansas. It was a sound argument and so we responded with a query about her possible candidacy. We received a perspicacious reply that has more than piqued our curiosity. We'll have more on L.K.'s campaign as we uncover it. Meanwhile, you can read the complete L.K. McLendon correspondence on the L.K. McLendon Page


Political Quote of the Day

"...no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power."

- P.J. O'Rourke

This one is so good we're gonna leave it up for awhile.


Cheap Humor

Top 10 Ways to Tell You're at a Republican Party Party

20 Signs You're a Democrat

The wags of the web have been cranking out Lieberman jokes - and being a bit waggish ourselves, we couldn't resist reprinting a few.


Our Favorite Political Word is still:

KAKISTOCRACY

Government by the least qualified or most unprincipled citizens.

Just remember, kids, there are more than 200 other candidates in this presidential race. Surely we could find a couple of decent possibilities among them...

Our Second Favorite Political Word:

THROTTLEBOTTOM

A harmless incompetent in public office.
(From Alexander Throttlebottom, the Vice President in Of Thee I Sing (1931), a musical comedy by George S. Kaufman and Morris Ryskind.)

Bet you can't wait to casually slip the the phrase, "a Kakistocracy of Throttlebottoms" into a conversation...

Matter of fact, when we write our best-selling analysis of American Politics, that's going to be the title. We're officially declaring dibs on it right here and now. Neener, neener.

Coming soon...

A Kakistocracy of Throttlebottoms
Copyright©2000 • Robert Arnold

Yessss!

The DarkHorse2000 NewsReaper

Every morning at the crack of dawn, we send Will Pitt out into the fields of news to harvest the tastiest tidbits he can find. He refers to this stuff as, "All the news that gives me fits."


For those of you who never make it to the link the bottom of this page, we have a second page of news that covers Internet, environmental and world news, as well as a special focus feature. Good stuff there. Don't miss it.

Page Two


Prescience, Synchronicity, or Political Acumen?

On the very day DH2K columnist Jack Curtin wrote his latest "Great Disconnect" column and made particular mention of the Washington Post's Cece Connolly, it turns out that the paper's very own ombudsman columnist did the same (albeit without naming names).

In further coincidentality, Salon also ran an article today that takes a similar fishy-eyed look at the bias of mainstream reporting.


A Miracle the Press Won't Report
Salon

How biased is the nation's press corps? In the window since Labor Day, the period when presidential campaigns start to get deadly serious, the national media has literally inserted itself into the race. In a series of shabbily conceived stories, which have thrown George W. Bush's campaign temporarily off stride, the national media has acted as little more than a spin machine for the Democratic Party.

It's the Liberalism, Stupid
Jewish World Review

This election represents a crossroads for America because Gore is seeking a mandate for collectivism over individualism, victimhood over responsibility, mediocrity over excellence, statism over capitalism and liberalism over conservatism.

Gush & Bore Reach Agreement on Debate Format
CNN

Ending weeks of haggling, officials for the Bush and Gore campaigns announced Saturday that they had agreed on a variety of formats for three upcoming presidential debates. The first presidential debate will follow the traditional two-podium format; the second will have the candidates seated at a table; and the third will be conducted in a town-hall format. During the one vice presidential debate, the candidates will be seated at a table.

Meanwhile, Third Party candidates are demanding their right to enter into the debates with the major parties' chosen two. See our Page Two News for more on this issue.

Those big-time, big-network debates aren't the only debates in town. Judicial Watch will be sponsoring a debate October 20, 2000, at the George Mason University School of Law.

The Great Debate Protests
Alternet

George W. Bush and Al Gore may have finally smoothed over their differences on presidential debates, but Green Party candidate Ralph Nader, for one, is not satisfied with the results.

Nader, whose only sliver of hope to contend in these elections is to share TV time with Bush and Gore, announced he will be outside the debate locations and available to the press for at least one of the three scheduled events, and that supporters will hold a demonstration in Boston to support his exclusion.

A Libertarian Alternative for Voters
Antiwar.com

By any reasonably objective criteria - ballot status, lower-office candidates, even polling data - Browne should be mentioned every time the newsies discuss minor-party candidates. Yet the typical approach, on the few occasions the major and even the minor media can pull themselves away from the earth-shattering question of whether Dubya is sending subliminal RATS messages or Gore pre-planned the clinch with Tipper, is to mention Nader and Buchanan as alternatives

Iowa Welcomes Harry Browne

Harry Browne's recent stumping through Iowa was covered by the Cedar Rapids Gazette, the Iowa City Press-Citizen, and the Daily Iowan. All three articles offer insights into the mind of Harry Browne, and since they no longer appear on the papers' websites, we're taking the liberty of reprinting them. Just click on the newspapers above.

Getting Out the Parody Vote
Wired

What's the difference between GWBush.com and GeorgeWBush.com? Well, one is an official campaign site, and one is a parody of that site. Can you tell the difference? Manny Frishberg reports from Seattle.

We like to slip in a plug for LittleGeorgeBush.com, a sharp-witted site created by our good friend, Felix Culpa.

Nader Wins MasterCard Lawsuit
ABC News

Green Party presidential candidate and consumer advocate Ralph Nader has slain another corporate giant, this time defeating MasterCardÕs attempts to quash his presidential campaign ads. U.S. District Court Judge George Daniels ruled Tuesday that MasterCard failed to show how it was harmed by the broadcast of a Nader campaign ad that parodies the credit card GoliathÕs famous ÒPricelessÓ ads.

How You Became the Enemy
The Progressive Review

At the end of the Cold War, a top Soviet official promised America one last horrible surprise. We are, he said, going to deprive you of an enemy. It appears that the military lacks a decent foe.

In the meanwhile, we just have to make do with -- and spend hundreds of billions to protect ourselves against -- a "generic composite peer competitor", "myriad formless threats", or even, god forbid, an "asymmetrical niche opponent". (What did you do in the last war, daddy? Well, son, I killed 14 generic composite peer competitors and would have wasted more if a frigging asymmetrical niche opponent hadn't got me in the chest.)

The Purpose of Gun Control
The Arkansas Democrat-Gazette

After a recent study concluded that the Brady law's gun control measures were not a significant factor in gun crime reduction, the time is right to clarify a misnomer: Gun control should be all about reducing gun crime, not lawful gun ownership. That distinction is not immaterial. The distrust the gun lobby exhibits toward with gun control advocates stems from precisely the same reason the abortion industry distrusts pro-life advocates. Both are afraid that conceding any regulation will lead to total abolition.

Gunning for Gore
The National Review

The National Rifle Association's membership is shooting through the roof, thanks to the continual potshots at the organization from Al Gore and the media.

The gun group has gained more than 1 million new members in the last 12 months. "Americans have heard Al Gore say he wants every gun registered, every gun owner licensed, and federal testing," says executive vice president Wayne LaPierre. "That will only hit the honest people."

Why Bush Is Toast
Slate

In principle, Bush could win. The stock market could crash. Gore could be caught shagging an intern. Bush could electrify the country with the greatest performance in the history of presidential debates. But barring such a grossly unlikely event, there is no reason to think Bush will recover.

Gush & Bore Trade Hollywood Hypocrisy Jabs
CNN

Campaigning took a back seat to swirling presidential campaign subplots Friday, as Vice President Al Gore and Texas Gov. George W. Bush -- both strident critics of the entertainment community -- found their ties to Hollywood under scrutiny. With the contents of a new federal report on entertainment marketing practices still warm after its release earlier this week, the campaign operations of both men were forced to play defense Friday.

McCain Criticizes Bush Proposal to Sanction Entertainment Industry
CNN

Sen. John McCain said Sunday he's leery of a proposal by Vice President Al Gore to impose sanctions on the entertainment industry for marketing violent movies to kids. McCain, R-Arizona., is chairman of the Senate Commerce Committee, which heard testimony last week on a Federal Trade Commission report alleging the entertainment industry has been peddling adult material to underage audiences. McCain has pledged follow-up hearings.

Should the Government Regulate Media Violence?
Slate

The Democrats couldn't have asked for better timing for the release of the Federal Trade Commission report on the marketing of violent fare to kids, and both Al Gore and Hillary Clinton are demagoguing this one completely.

But just because something is political doesn't mean it's wrong. We have to examine the question on its merits: Should there be tighter restrictions on the way violent fare is marketed to children?

Gore Has Porn Biz Support
The Washington Times

They say their support is fervent Ñ but unwanted. Nevertheless, several thousand members of the Internet adult entertainment industry are expected to endorse Al Gore for president during "IA2000," an upcoming trade show in New Orleans.

Al Gore's Uncle Whit
World Net Daily

In this first segment of a three-part feature on Al's extra-legal favoritism for friends and family members, the authors take a fishy-eyed look at Uncle Whit has been targeted as an alleged drug trafficker by federal and state law enforcement officials in Tennessee.

Experts Warn Bush: "Arithmetic is Simple"
CNN

Three prominent Social Security experts -- including a former commissioner -- have asked George W. Bush to explain how he would protect the system while diverting huge sums of money into private investments.

"The arithmetic is simple," they warned, arguing the Republican presidential nominee's proposal would drain $1 trillion from Social Security and threaten benefits for millions nearing retirement.

"We believe the question is simple and direct: Where will the $1 trillion come from to protect Social Security benefits?" they asked.

Then there was the bit about Little George being dyslexic. Puleez! Let's not make excuses. The guy's not dyslexic, he's just plain stupid...

Bush Denies Dyslexia Report
ABC News

George W. Bush denied suggestions his often mocked struggles with the English language mean that he has dyslexia, as a magazine article reports. ÒIÕm not dyslexic,Ó Bush said in an interview with ABCNEWSÕ Good Morning America, "I'm just plain stupid."

'Honest' Politics ... In Web Art?
Wired

The real deal at the presidential conventions won't be found even on so-called 'alternative' news websites, say two artists who think their offering is more honest than mainstream political coverage.

Democracy - The Last Campaign, serves up the drama and spectacle of the race between Vice President Al Gore and Texas Gov. George W.Bush, while it blurs the lines between rapid-fire online news and poetic, subjective Net art

Hungry for more of our fishy-eyed news coverage? Go to Page Two for news from the Internet and technology, environmental Issues, world events, and A Closer Look, wherein we take a closer look at an issue or event that we think is important enough for, umm...
... a closer look.

There's a darkhorse coming up fast on the outside. The front runners aren't worried yet, but he's starting to get the crowd's attention...

It's none other than that perennial green guy, Ralph Nader. We think the political scene could be in for some surprises - and to that end, we've decided to keep a fishy eye on ol' Ralph. For the latest on his surprisingly active campaign, check out our thrilling new feature called...

Nader Watch


Uh-oh...

It looks like there's some serious weasel-work afoot in the Reform Party. The root, of course, is money - 12 million bucks in campaign funds - and the two main contenders, Pat Buchanan and John Hagelin, are slugging it out for the purse. We're not about to miss a good fight, so we're going to invite you to join us in our ringside seats at

Reform Party Watch
(Webmasters are permitted only one <blink> tag per year)

Rob Davis and Jack Curtin Strike Again

But not here. They now have their own exclusive page.


OUR PHILOSOPHY : If it ain't interesting, it ain't news.

For reasons that have always been a little unclear to us, the major news media seem compelled to give us the daily news about the top candidates, even if nothing interesting actually happened.

Old time newspapermen* had a word for news items about things that weren't newsworthy. They were called "whogas". It's short for "Who gives a shit?" So the next time you read a news item that leaves you wondering why you should care, you'll know that it's a whogas.

We're not going to give you any whogas. If it ain't interesting, it ain't news. And if nothing worth mentioning happens on a particular day, well, then, there won't be any new news. We'll just tell you that nothing much happened and you can get on with your day.

* We don't want to hear any of that politically correct rhetoric about our use of gender-specific words. Old time newspapermen, for whom we have profound respect, and of which one of whom was the grandfather of our Editor-in-Chief, called themselves newspapermen. If it was good enough for them, it's good enough for us. Neener, neener.


Danger, Danger...

We found the following disclaimer on a website which shall remain nameless to avoid causing them undue public humiliation. Since we don't have a team of overpriced legal weasels writing nonsense for us, we thought we'd appropriate it for our own nefarious purposes...

Information provided by this website is provided 'as is' without warranty of any kind, either express or implied, including but not limited to the implied warranties of merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose and freedom from infringement. The user assumes the entire risk as to the accuracy and the use of the information provided herein.

Remember, our news is "as-is". Don't say you haven't been warned.


FAIR USE NOTICE:

This site sometimes reprints copyrighted material, the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to inform our readers about political issues of importance. We believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without profit for research and educational purposes. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.


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